Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were trust falling into bushes
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
