i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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