Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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