I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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