Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
