he puts the penis in happiness.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
time to smoke my breakfast
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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