i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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