I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
