Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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