he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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