Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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