I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wrigley field is MILF paradise
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize