Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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