If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
PANTIES FOUND
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