yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize