his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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