remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
