GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
