Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So many bounce houses so little time
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
