Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
