i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
