Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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