so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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