So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
