If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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