woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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