...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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