btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this beer tastes like vomit already
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
