He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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