Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
