i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
