Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize