He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
