it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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