My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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