I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
