he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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