My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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