Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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