if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
