He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
