if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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