I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
