Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
