I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
