My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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