Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
