I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
