My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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