And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
