Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
