one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can't turn off my feet"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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