Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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