Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize