My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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