How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
