There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
