she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
