the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
