I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
