so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
