As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
